The StassiNet

Today I woke up and started browsing Google News only to find, to my dismay, that my entire life will be of zero consequence when I am incinerated in a nuclear holocaust on June 12th along with my friends, family, and material possessions unless I join a trailer park sect owned by a Texan with thirty wives named Yisrayl Hawkins. God dammit.

[Read about how fucked we all are.]